What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 16.06.2025 15:43
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
TEXT:
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Is there an MBTI personality that is more or less likely to handle stress?
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
What is the reason behind the Russian government's negative view on foreign travel?
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Why have Indian girls almost stopped wearing sarees?
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Why is it common for guys to sleep with 10-20 women then marry a good girl?
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
How can I decorate my house creatively?
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Why can't white people just surrender their white privilege?
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Make Nazis afraid again!
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
What do you think of Andrew Tate?
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.